NEW ORLEANS — Lookout, New Orleans. The upcoming mayoral election is taking a detour from the status quo. In a street-breaking move it promises to quickly fix, Giant Cone, an icon known in the Crescent City for its extensive community service, is launching a bid to become the next mayor of New Orleans.
“It’s time someone took a stand for the people of New Orleans and I feel my experience is just what our city needs,” Giant Cone said in a statement released on its website giantconeformayor.com.
Giant Cone isn’t afraid to get down and dirty. Aside from being highly visible in the community, street-tough, and able to inspire people to move without saying a single word, Cone isn’t afraid to put in the time needed to make a change.
“I never stop working, plain and simple,” Giant Cone said. “I’ve seen so much in this city. I’ve been run over, kicked, stolen, and defaced. I’m on the front lines day in and day out. I don’t know about everyone else, but over the years I’ve seen my fill of the same old, same old.”
Giant Cone isn’t just standing around. Cone knows only specific programs will solve our problems. For instance, Cone’s recent bold announcement of requiring all streets to have at least ten percent of potholes classified as “affordable” has become a popular approach. This is the kind of focused progress New Orleans needs.
Even with a larger-than-life presence that has made it a local icon, Giant Cone knows it’s way behind on the fundraising front. Though, the non-traditional candidate believes its grassroots efforts will put it out front.
“Everywhere you look in New Orleans, on every street and every sidewalk, you see support for this campaign — little cones reminding everyone of my big plans,” Giant Cone said. “It’s time the mayor’s office is put under construction.”
Giant Cone also hopes t-shirt sales and other campaign gear on its website, giantconeformayor.com, will provide an extra boost to grow the movement.
“There’s no getting around it — there’s a void in our city’s leadership and I’m here to fill it,” Giant Cone said. “Besides, the IRS has never had a problem with me.”